Aliens Are Real and We’re All Gonna Die

Aliens Are Real and We’re All Gonna Die

 

 

 

After this mysterious and creepy as fuck alert was broadcast over the airwaves in California, everyone breathed an uneasy sigh of relief.

“It was just a prank. Haha – good one, whoever.”

And yet, something about this whole thing continues to resonate, like the nagging feeling when your subconscious knows you are being cheated on. The UFO conspiracy theories never go away…because they somehow just feel…real.

I now 100% percent believe in all UFO conspiracy theories. Lemme esplain….

No. There is too much. Let me sum up:

Back in the days before Will Smith and Two-face were running around onscreen as covert space cops, there was a real conspiracy theory involving real Men In Black. 

I don’t know Karate – but I know Kuh-reepy.

Kuh-reepy!

These were more naive days, before the movies went alien crazy and the conspiracy nuts truly went to town mutating everything into a giant psychotic pie. But I do remember reading my copy of TWOTU: UFO’s and always thinking “There’s just something believable in these unbelievable stories.” And let’s not forget the whole “Project Blue Book” craze that swept the nation back in the late seventies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was even a proto-X-Files TV show based on these godammned true reports.

Anyway, this whole “accidental emergency broadcast” thing now just absolutely proves both the existence of the MIB and the aliens currently prepping our world for colonization. After the airing of these absolutely legit “They Live” warnings, the official explanation that emerged was “Oh, the signal to end the alert didn’t get transmitted and y’know, some random radio stuff just got transmitted instead. Just totally random, not bravely curated by anyone trying to warn the human race or anything.”

MIB: FAIL.

To any MIB reading this, you guys are total idiots. Like, seriously. If you had’ve just come back with “a simple prank,” nobody would have given the whole thing a second thought. But you chose to go the other route – “random accident.” This isn’t the seventies anymore – no one’s gonna buy that! You should have went with hacker-prank. A bit of the ‘ol “double-bluff.”

Now we’re supposed to believe that these apocalyptic UFO and End of Days warnings were just randomly plucked out of the air? Those two recordings just happened to be playing on the radio somewhere that morning? The Art Bell stuff was aired almost twenty years ago! It’s not like that recording is on the hit list at KROQ. You guys really screwed up now.

Now we know for sure.

THEY LIVE!

Award winning writer, video editor and viking. I seek vengeance for crimes against culture and common sense, fighting the War on Terrible wherever it may lead. Join me today @Fjustifier and FEAR NO TERRIBLE!