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Corey Feldman Will Expose a Terrible Hollywood Secret. For Only Ten Million Dollars.

I have always found Corey Feldman to be HUGELY annoying and grating upon the nerves. Both of the Coreys. They have both just been a lightning rod for arrogance, weirdness and unbelievable self-delusion. Now, in light of the recent confessions and accusations he has made about Hollywood my opinion has…

…not changed at all. The guy is still going out of his way to be an opportunistic weirdo.

This new fund-raising project of his – where he wants ten million dollars to create a documentary he says will expose a ring of Hollywood pedophiles – is just infuriating. If what he says is true, then that is horrible. Maybe it explains why he and Corey Haim ended up being such annoying twits their whole lives. Who knows? Get the guy a psych team and let’s find out.

Won’t you please lend a hand?

In the meantime, let’s get some cops over to his house right NOW and have him give a statement. There’s a secret pedophilia cabal in Hollywood? That’s still active? And you want ten million dollars so you can take two years to create a documentary about this sh*t? What the f**k is wrong with this tw*t?!

I am so sick of f**king washed up, desperate actors pulling sh*t like this. Any normal person with a story like he claims to have – and now wants to tell – would just go to the police. Why not take ten seconds to end pedophilia in Hollywood with a tweet?

None of the Harvey Weinstein accusers are creating a f**king documentary about their lives.



Look Corey, if it’s about money, just go on Ellen or give an interview to Vanity Fair. Ellen would have you on by mid-week. Go with the highest bidder, we won’t hold that against you. You’ll probably still get a cool half-million or a million if your story is true. And you can play yourself in the movie version. All of your ages, too, why not?

If this claim is true, then why the f**k are you waiting? I read one article that said Corey did in fact reveal names in the nineties (which has now been proven to be untrue). The police, however, did not act on the information. So a documentary is now his only hope. Does this make any sense? Well, if that’s true, then say the names again now! People are listening now! Ten million dollars for a documentary, lawyers and security. F**K me. Oh, and a new stage for touring, to get the message to the people. And a new touring bus and recording studio. And a small island safe house in the Bahamas.

After this f**king thing has been shut down and destroyed, then you make your f**king documentary. Then you write your f**king book. Do whatever the f**k ya want, just don’t try to use this as some kind of twisted bargaining chip to deal yourself back into the game. You are making yourself look like a real f**k-wit right now and making everyone remember your creepy Michael Jackson phase and your creepy goth-rock phase and your creepy reality-show has-been phase and your just general super creepy pathetic weirdo at all times phase.

Little known fact: Corey Feldman was the inspiration for the Simpsons episode where the mental patient thinks he’s Michael Jackson.

Corey Haim’s mom hates you. She’s saying the same thing everyone else is. So say what you have to say or f**k off already!

Gah!!! I’m not at all surprised by what superstar Corey is doing. What is surprising – yet again and always – is the goddamn f**king media just going along with this bullsh*t. This ridiculous story is being reported all over the goddamned place – without question or context. There have been a couple of sites, like NBC News and the Hollywood Reporter, calling him on his sh*t. Not many more though.

What’s really surprising is the guy’s huge God-freak and veteran following. Why doesn’t he open his own ministry? That’s a way better idea than a documentary. Corey! Give up your fixation on Hollywood and being in movies. The real money is in religion, man!

Y’know what? F**k it. I just donated ten bucks to Corey’s heroic project. Why not? I’d like to see this movie now. The man is insane, so please, let’s have much more of this.

 

I hope what he says isn’t true, but it probably is, to some degree. I don’t doubt he was abused. And that’s a tragic nightmare, for us all. If it is true, and there is a ring of evil spewing out of Hollywood (more than just the crap movies, I mean), then I hope someone else steps up to bring it down. Because it won’t be Holy-Warrior Corey or his valiant, altruistic movie.

Well known fact: Corey is insane.

One thing we learned from the Weinstein accusers is that many of them were told they wouldn’t be considered reliable witnesses due to having done nude scenes or playing suggestive roles. This was lawyers telling them this! The legal system is unfortunately totally f**ked. So if a nude scene loses you credibility, what in the f**k is this gonna do?

I swear I cannot tell the difference between trolling and real insanity anymore. Is Shia LaBeouf a genius troll of epic proportions? Is Corey Feldman Andy Kaufman’s greatest prank?

Time will tell. But Corey Feldman won’t!

Crom’s blood!

GO 4 IT!

UPDATE (Oct. 31, 2017):

PANTS ON FIRE!

 

I AM FERGUS THE JUSTIFIER!

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