Trump is Pulling a Jellico on North Korea

Trump is Pulling a Jellico on North Korea

 

 

 

By Fergus The Justifier

Everyone knows that Donald Trump spends his days watching TV news and drinking cokes while stacking bars of gold. I think he may be watching something else as well though:

This crazy report from The New York Times sounded so, so familiar to me.

“I told Rex Tillerson, our wonderful Secretary of State, that he is wasting his time trying to negotiate with Little Rocket Man,” Mr. Trump wrote on Twitter, using the derogatory nickname he has assigned to Kim Jong-un, the North Korean leader. “Save your energy Rex,” he added, “we’ll do what has to be done!”

The “I’m-a-reckless-and-unreasonable-military-option-guy” attitude in the tweets felt so familiar. I had this hazy image come to mind of four lights…

And then I had it!

Trump is pulling a Jellico! He’s channeling the dickhead Captain of “Chain of Command,” the classic TNG 2-parter where Picard is relieved of command to go on a secret mission. Meanwhile, a new asshat Captain – Captain Edward Jellico – assumes command of the Enterprise.

This is one of the few episodes of TNG that I always end up watching whenever it pops up on TV, as it is just that good. Jellico uses Riker and Troi as “good cop” pawns in his power-struggle with a Cardassian delegation, opting to portray himself as an high-tempered loose cannon.

Why don’t they like me?

The strategy seems to work just fine and even though Troi suspects he is a secret mental case (this also sounds familiar), everyone finishes the episode with a modicum of respect for ‘ol crazy-pants Jellico. You also end up feeling just a tad sorry for him because he has no friends and everyone hates his guts.

I would imagine Trump feels just like Jellico does in the story. The slothful Enterprise crew practically mutiny over a bit of extra work, the insubordinate ingrates, and react very negatively to Jellico’s clearly much more efficient command style.

Hey, Laforge, you’re in Starfleet, not working at Walmart! Stop whining and get back to work, you lazy…

Anyway, this all seems to be working just like it did in the episode! The North Koreans are reportedly running around baffled and confused, looking to GOP members for advice on how to make sense of Trump and his confusing messages:

“Their number-one concern is Trump. They can’t figure him out,” said one person with direct knowledge of North Korea’s approach of experts on Asia with Republican connections.

Whoo hoo!

The outreach began before the current eruption of threats between the two leaders but probably will become more urgent as Trump and Kim have descended into name-calling that, many analysts worry, sharply increases the chances of potentially catastrophic misunderstandings.

Uh oh.

So is Trump stealing his foreign policy from Star Trek episodes? Probably. God only knows what will happen if he ever starts watching any of TOS with Cowboy Kirk and his galloping “run-and-gun” brand of diplomacy. I’m also forced to ask: how far does this rabbit hole go? Does this mean Obama and Hillary are right now operating covertly in North Korea?!

A great man contemplates a tense situation
A man pretending to be on the phone

 

It’s all too insane not to believe it!

“There…are…four…Rodmans!”

God, I think I’m gonna have to watch this again right now. Netflix, here I come…

 

 

Award winning writer, video editor and viking. I seek vengeance for crimes against culture and common sense, fighting the War on Terrible wherever it may lead. Join me today @Fjustifier and FEAR NO TERRIBLE!